April 26, 2023

“He said everything is fine”

If you have a partner who has been asking for your support in the relationship, what is stopping you from getting it?
Here are some actual words and messages shared with me.
“My husband refuses to get help”
“He would never, ever talk to anyone”
“He thinks coaching is a scam”
“His friends were giving him shit about it”
“He’s so heartbroken that I’m leaving”
“I’ve asked him for us to get help for years”
“He said everything is fine”
“He said everything is fine”
“He said everything is fine”
“I need help, I can’t believe she’s leaving”
“I would do anything to save our marriage”
“Please help me, she’s taking my kids”
“I’m so lost”
“I don’t know how I will ever get over this”
“I want to be a better father and husband”
It’s heartbreaking when your partner finally calls her bluff. Months and years of being “fine” in a relationship when your partner thinks otherwise are in fact not “fine”. It takes a lot of courage for your partner to bring the conversation to you and after months and years of doing nothing about it, often the relationship dies.
I talk to men every week like this. Wanting a second chance when they were given many.
Getting support can be uncomfortable. It would require walking through some stuff that is hard to look at. Swallowing some chunks of truth and taking vulnerability to a level that may never have been modeled by another man in your life. You don’t have to be your dad, your bros, or the Marlboro man.
Be a human. You can feel, you can be scared, and you can get help with your most important relationships.
If doing nothing is worth losing your relationship over, then it’s ok. Truly.
If it’s not, then don’t call her bluff.
I talk to women every week who are done. Done giving their second chances when many were given.
Exactly why my first wife divorced me. I’ve been there.
Here’s your invitation brother.
Let’s jam