A simple passive-aggressive comment triggered the hell out of me recently. So much so, that I was up most of that night chewing on it. Tossing and turning in bed. Up and down. Staring at my phone, the ceiling, and my soul.
I thought I was over this sort of stuff. After all, I’ve had years of ontological training and a bucket of tools at the ready to work myself out. Over a decade of working various 12 steps, inner child work, and codependency healing. Yet, there I was sleepless, angry, and hurt.
F’ them I thought, then I immediately felt sadness for thinking that. Then I judged myself for judging them. They don’t understand me, never have, I’m an alien to them. Even though I am more like them than not…if they could only see it. Then I thought about what the truth was in what they said. Was there any?
Then I remembered. I’m human. Shit hurts me sometimes. Pisses me off. Angers me.
It doesn’t have to mean anything about me, or them. They’re human too, right?
Our relationships with ourselves, those we love, and those we lead are our biggest mirrors reflecting back to us where the work and opportunities are hiding out. Embrace it to learn and grow, fight it and suffer.
We all got stuff. It’s what we do with it that impacts the quality of our life experiences. I am reminded that it’s always an inside job. All of this is a reflection of the relationship I have with myself.
One of the most powerful tools I have learned is this. Name it to tame it.
Speak what the challenge is.
Write down what the challenge is.
Share what the challenge is.
Then work on learning what the experience is trying to teach you.
Lots of ways to explore your inner landscape. I offer a few of them in my 1:1 coaching, my men’s groups, our relationship incubator, and the upcoming Alchemy of Men Retreat.
Hit me up.
Take the wheel Forest. I need a nap.