December 20, 2019

Self Development is Scary Sh#%!. Be a Warrior…

In order to live the life you want, you’re going to have to do the internal work. It’s what I call the Warriors Work and that work can be terrifyiing.

Warriors have courage. They act in the face of fear. Warriors train hard. They learn how to take on the enemy (which in this case is ourselves). Warriors are committed. They will pursue their mission until the very end. Warriors are vulnerable – going into war is one of the scariest most vulnerable things that you can do.

This may all sound a bit dramatic, and there is obviously a difference between being in physical warfare and self-development – but I think the metaphor is useful…

Our lives are genuinely on the line here. If you don’t do internal Warriors Work, you will end up living your life from a lifeless place. How many people do you know right now that are just coasting through life uncertain of what the point is? People who feel completely disempowered and unable to reach their own vision for their life? This is the death that I am talking about: Spiritual and emotional death. One of my greatest joys in coaching is seeing my clients do the warriors work and come alive again.

So, what does Warriors Work actually look like?

It means taking yourself on. There is only one common thread in everything that you experience: YOU. You are a part of every relationship you have, every room you enter, and every decision you make. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What does creating a relationship with myself look like?
  • How am I responsible for my emotional and physical wellbeing?
  • Where am I not loving and treating my body in the way I could be?
  • Where am I causing breakdowns in my relationship?
  • How am I responsible for not feeling loved in my relationship?
  • What level of vulnerability do I need to practice with my partner or in my career?
  • How am I responsible for the way I show up in my job?
  • Where am I not stepping into my power at work because I’m scared?
  • What help do I need?

It will take some courage to do this work in earnest. It’s never easy to face up to the lies we’ve been telling ourselves. You are going to have to admit that the only thing standing in your way is you. You are going to realize that you’ve been wrong about a few things. You’ll have to commit to making changes in your life.

Keep an eye out for the way your network will want to corroborate the lies you naturally tell yourself… It is likely that you are surrounded by friends and colleagues who will support your longstanding narratives – that it’s too hard, that you aren’t good enough, that you’ve been wronged by the world. They do this because they love you. Maintain your discipline – show them that those lies no longer define your narrative.

We all have the power to do what needs to be done and to achieve whatever we want to achieve. That’s just the way the universe works. When we relate to ourselves as incapable, or not having what we need, or broken, we go against the laws of nature. The Warrior’s work is to relate to yourself right where you’re at and know that you are worthy of everything you desire. From that place, you can start to practice and choose.

So, your life isn’t exactly where you want it to be at the moment…

Can you love yourself enough to do something about it?

Let me know how it goes, Warrior.