April 19, 2018

Vulnerability, Want To Fight About It?

Take off the armor. Put down the shield. Drop your weapons. Take a deep breath. Ready?

I’d like to talk about vulnerability. Let’s fight about it.

I’ve found that many of us look at vulnerability as weakness and I want to challenge it a bit here (looking at you fellas). The type of vulnerability where we are sharing our fears, sharing our needs, asking for help, exposing ourselves, opening up, sharing the not enough-ness we sometimes feel. Putting it on loudspeaker!

The type of vulnerability where we are likely and actually opening our heart.

This way of being vulnerable has become an act of defiant resistance and we will do whatever it takes to put on the strong stoic facade that it’s all good. Because there is too great of a risk to be vulnerable and to expose our “weakness”. Too much on the line and so the fight and survivor way of being prevails. I am super curious what has us choosing this and essentially choosing to shut down and not authentically BE with a very real part of us.

What will happen if you expose your vulnerability?

“They will leave you”
“Your boss will pass you up on the next promotion”
“You’ll be called names; Weak, Soft, Loser”
“ Confirmation, I knew it, I am broken”

So how does this show up in your life?

Do you notice where you may be shut down in your romantic relationship? Where your partner is not getting all of you. Perhaps it’s the constant negative chatter in your head telling you that you are failing. Or the timid-ness around senior level leaders and management that has you not sharing your voice, or your brilliance.

Start Today!

1. Say the thing you have been resisting to say with your partner
2. Take on your healing work. Face the trauma and handle your scandal
3. Speak up at the next leader meeting, or better yet ask your boss for that promotion

Just move towards that awkwardness in exposing what is really going on and what you really want.

Here’s the thing…

This resistance to opening your heart and exposing yourself is costing you. It’s costing you peace. It’s costing you intimacy. It’s costing you power. My own story with vulnerability is on-going and I still resist the hell out of it. At times I don’t even know why I resist it other than many times it is my default survival way of being. When I do open up and am called to open up by the team of healers and coaches I have around me something magic happens. A bit more of my authenticity shines through.

My needs are met and my heart opens.

Vulnerability gives way to connection which gives way to power which gives way to abundance.

Warriors mount up.